I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
