I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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