Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Someone shit on the floor
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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