Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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