Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
