We're facebook friends in real life
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you traded sex for a burrito?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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