There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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