Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.

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  (314): I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant. http://tfl.nu/hikv
  Replies (1) Good night (2122) Bad night (804)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?

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  (908): so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts? http://tfl.nu/ocmm
  Replies (49) Good night (1582) Bad night (6015)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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  (602): no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself. http://tfl.nu/5qf3
  Replies (2) Good night (962) Bad night (3880)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.

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  (281): Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/lbmt
  Replies (43) Good night (6594) Bad night (1122)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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  (+64): Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys. http://tfl.nu/k7wg
  Replies (127) Good night (3351) Bad night (1289)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness

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  (513): did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness http://tfl.nu/hxgt
  Replies (70) Good night (1066) Bad night (5705)
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  (213): View more from California

  dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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  (213): dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring. http://tfl.nu/vd81
  Replies (14) Good night (4574) Bad night (1393)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.

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  (770): Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob. http://tfl.nu/4q4p
  Replies (9) Good night (1946) Bad night (1171)
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  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (859) Bad night (1471)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.

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  (631): I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation. http://tfl.nu/bilr
  Replies (1) Good night (1133) Bad night (554)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer

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  (513): He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer http://tfl.nu/5hwv
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (540)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We have started to decorate penises.

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  (770): We have started to decorate penises. http://tfl.nu/ezlh
  Replies (12) Good night (869) Bad night (507)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You're the horniest male I have ever encountered

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.

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  (334): You're the horniest male I have ever encountered (404): Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you. http://tfl.nu/3v94
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (410)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.

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  (253): I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise. http://tfl.nu/nmya
  Replies (1) Good night (453) Bad night (346)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.

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  (563): No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wpdr
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (375)

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