Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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