Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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(305): View more from Florida

I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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(770): View more from Georgia

She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(605): View more from South Dakota

The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops

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(708): View more from Illinois

My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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(214): View more from Texas

look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.

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(818): View more from California

I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.

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