the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
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at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina