Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"

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(513): i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway" http://tfl.nu/kkqr

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(216): View more from Ohio

he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out

(513): View more from Ohio

so is it as big as he says?

(216): View more from Ohio

he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit

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(216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out (513): so is it as big as he says? (216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit http://tfl.nu/hksl

Replies (42) Good night (6122) Bad night (714)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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(334): I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves. http://tfl.nu/rn3o

Replies (41) Good night (12496) Bad night (1551)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.

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(250): i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting. http://tfl.nu/gwdw

Replies (16) Good night (3403) Bad night (800)
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(734): View more from Michigan

i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..

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(734): i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth.. http://tfl.nu/wfim

Replies (17) Good night (3960) Bad night (1485)
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(607): View more from New York

My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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(607): My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good. http://tfl.nu/t7su

Replies (7) Good night (2919) Bad night (791)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

This is going everywhere on the internet.

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(505): TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES (1-505): This is going everywhere on the internet. http://tfl.nu/lcfu

Replies (8) Good night (3080) Bad night (864)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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(715): Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once. http://tfl.nu/y3bm

Replies (11) Good night (3571) Bad night (667)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.

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(515): I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor. http://tfl.nu/c5bv

Replies (12) Good night (1648) Bad night (393)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

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(423): I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you. http://tfl.nu/8fht

Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (818)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.

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(218): Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/tj30

Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (806)
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(545): View more from

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

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(545): You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request. http://tfl.nu/ec9g

Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (392)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this

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(319): Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this http://tfl.nu/dy6c

Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (600)
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(571): View more from Virginia

My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

(703): View more from Virginia

Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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(571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0

Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (280)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face

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(248): I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face http://tfl.nu/fni1

Replies (5) Good night (448) Bad night (217)

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