So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
