Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
