Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
