i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
