I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
