Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
