i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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