her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
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Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
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My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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