I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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