Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
