Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
