I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
