i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
