It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
