I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
