it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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