I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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