An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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