i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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