So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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