Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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