I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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