i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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