and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
