stop calling my apartment porn island.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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