he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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