Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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