I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize