i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You ruined the universe
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
