She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
