i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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