i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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