i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
