just come out here and I will go home with you...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.