can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
last night I used snow as a chaser