I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car