I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
