at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sobbing to NWA
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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