Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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