i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
