I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we're so committed to being not committed
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
