Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
