Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
