and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
