i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
