Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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