Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
