did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
