just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
