her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize