you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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