If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
