Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
