he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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