I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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