No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
